THE ULTIMATE
6/6/2022 1 Comment Three Proven Ways To Apply The Principles Of Tongue Fu In Your Life And Transform Each Conflict Into A Cooperation!Do you have some toxic people around you? Do you want to know how to respond to them with patience and not react upon them with anger and frustration which will ultimately worsen the whole situation? Do you want to put the water on the fire rather than fueling it more and more? If these questions resonate with you, then first of all a warm welcome to the place where I will help you to design your life with love. You are at the right place, at the right time and yes, with the right person. Let's talk about a crucial part of our lives today that no one teaches us in school and college and it's about dealing with the difficult people. Often in our lives, we come across such types of people who try to pull our leg downwards or they try to control us in some way, they make us feel we are bad and thus, who turns out to be the victim? I hope you got the answer, it's you! We often treat them as devils and because of our own limiting beliefs - what happens? We tend to lose our inner peace and try to fight with them again and again, but can I tell you a little secret? If you will keep your leg into the wet mud or some swampy area, you will only have to face the after effects of it. Am I right? Similarly, if you know how to handle the difficult conversations with the difficult people, don't you think the unnecessary trauma that you carry will some what get rid and you will get free? What generally happens when we fight with them? The conversation turns into a conflict and thus it ends the whole beauty of even the closest relationships and no one actually benefits with them. Please remember these people are not mad, they are not insane or psyche, they just need some love and care from us because the whole world is already judging them and pointing fingers on them for what they do and who they are - and at this point of time, all they need is a safe space where they are not judged, believe me LOVE CAN TRANSFORM ANYONE'S LIFE. That's why I request you to spend some time with me so I can take you on a beautiful journey and answering the "HOW" part of this whole game. Grab a cup of tea or coffee whatever you like :), let's make it a fun learning! What Is Tongue Fu?Have you ever heard of this word called Tongue Fu? Well, if you have - then superb and if you are someone who does not know about this concept, let me explain. Before moving on to the top 3 tips for handling these difficult conversations - it's important for you to get hold of this topic. Tongue Fu is a series of martial arts for the mind and the mouth - techniques which are developed by Sam Horn for what to say when you don't know what to say. Sounds Interesting? Some of the practices that I follow and has impacted me and my bonds in certain ways, I will be sharing them down with you so you can get how this whole thing works. Always remember that "MAN WAS DESIGNED TO DESIGN HIS LIFE" and if you are not doing that, you are not following the rules my sweetheart. According to me, the quality of your life is decided by the quality of your relationships and it's important for us to learn how we can turn our conflicts into the co-operations. Let's dive in deep. 1. When People Complain, Don't Explain. Instead Take AAA TrainOften when something goes wrong in our relationships, the basic tendency is that we either ask them for explanation or we tend to give our own excuses for why that happened. But is it okay if from today we break this old pattern and follow a new one by giving ourselves a different approach? If for example - your best friend is angry with you for some reason, let's say "You said something bad about him/her to your other friend and that person has informed this to your best buddy." Here, your instant reaction will be either guilt or shame, and you may also try to explain why you said so. Right? But from now onwards, please don't explain because when you do, the other person is not in a state of listening because they are already angry and remember beneath every layer of anger, there's a hurt! And our job is to heal it not cause more harm to it, agree? That's why from next time, try if you can first agree with them, accept it, then apologize. At that point of time - the other person just needs some kind of satisfaction that yes, you have said sorry and that's all they need. Often, we say "There is no thank you or sorry in friendships or closest relationships" but my approach here is quite different. I say no matter whether they are close or far from my heart, you know why? Because we all need that! Suppose if you are working all day long and no one sees how much effort you are putting, what will happen? You will start feeling like a victim, and you will find everything boring and when the excitement leaves us, we become like a living hell. "I am sorry", "I love you", "I care for you", "Thank you", etc., these are all magical words which can uplift and bring back the spark in your bonds once again. After following the 2 A's, then you act - because all of this puts you in a state of response rather than reaction. Let's say - you didn't say anything about your friend then instead of jumping on to the reaction - follow the 3 A's, now I know you must be thinking "Gargi, are you mad? Why will I apologize if I have not said that?" I agree, but in order to come to a stable situation where both of you are calm and look for a solution, don't you think it would be beneficial? Don't let your EGO come in the way, where will you take all of this attitude? Not going to serve any area of your life, I have been there and that's why it's coming from a place of authenticity. 2. Don't Defend Or Deny Untrue AccusationsHas someone ever said the truth and you got hurt by it and started to defend yourself instead of asking them the follow up questions which could have saved you from falling into the trap? It has happened with me many times but I have got to know how to deal with it. Honestly speaking, I am a very emotional person and most of the times, I keep most of the things inside me, so many times people have asked me to open up but I only do with few people and that's why I have been labelled by many names like "I am so emotional, or introvert and etc. Anytime, someone used to say me like this, I used to feel bad and I used to defend myself. But when I got to know about this principle, it took some time for me to dissolve the whole concept in my cells but finally I did. Let's say if someone says you " You are such an idiot, you always ask so many questions. You stupid, you are seriously good for nothing. You will never be able to succeed in your life!!", how will you act? You will get furious and immediately start to deny that fact and fight against it. Right? But from today, can we change this approach together? What if we say to the next person "I see, but can you please tell what made you think like that or what do you mean?", "Is there something wrong I did to you?" and then let them explain what they meant. Most of the problems are not created by what other people say, it's just the game of tonality and if instead of reacting, we can understand that it's a human nature - it will serve us for long. Once they have told you why they have been thinking about you that way - say "thank you" and then you act accordingly. You must be thinking "Why only I have to understand every time?", because you my friend are a part of 1% of this world who is keen to work on themselves and design their lives with love, not everyone has the courage to even read a blog or watch a motivational video every day. You are an evolved soul than them and you can understand these things much better. Don't you agree with me? Instead of bringing the ego in between, tell this new story to yourself and then see what happens! Remember when your frequency towards the other person changes, their frequency changes too because of the sudden change you bring in! 3. Halt What's Happening With A Hand GestureAlways remember that our task is not to fix the blame for the past, it's to fix the course for the future. Whenever you find someone talking and talking and not giving you the chance to explain, remember to stop them by showing your hand, then continue what you have to speak. Even if they stop you in between, show them a T with your hands, and then tell them that it means TIME OUT! Remember these gestures won't make you bad or rude, a relationship is made by two people and both have the equal right to speak. That's why I always say - Train them, don't shame them. CONCLUSIONWell, it's the end, I hope by now you must have understood that you being the evolved soul has enough courage to not only change your frequency level but also the people who seem difficult but from within are just broken and need some love.
Start to see this world with the eyes of care and respect because this is what we need the most. Comment down below "Which one tip are you willing to apply for the next one week and how did this blog impact you?" Would love to hear.
1 Comment
Priya
6/11/2022 04:11:08 am
She is fabulous coach.i took her session She listen you very calmly and respond accordingly. You are so generous. Thnku so much🙏
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHello, I am Gargi Arya, the motivational speaker of ADJOA HTC and author of the book 'The Lion Hearted Soul'. I am 14 years old. I study in 10th grade in Ryan International School, Ghaziabad. To me, writing is just my thoughts flowing from my mind to the tips of my fingers and painting the pages of my precious diary. This website is all about you and for you. Remember treasure lies in solving mysteries. Let the power of self love reinvent yourself to create your dream life ! |